Turns out I am not much of a blogger. Microblogging i.e. twitter suits me just fine. But this large empty space looking to be filled just seems like another commitment. Another indictment of my inability to manage time and writing.
I’m not going to bother to make a pledge thingy saying I will write more. It probably isn’t worth the cyberspace it’d be written on. However I do genuinely think I need to write more.
I used, as a high school student and even as an undergraduate write creatively the night before an exam in order to free up the “writing fingers” and get the brain thinking. It used to work too. I guess I had somehow figured out that writing leads to writing. And I know this is true. I have read that this is true.
Fear of writing is perhaps the most paralysing aspect of my PhD. I know I am busy, but so are others. I am hoping if I write more freely here I will start to write more freely elsewhere. In elsewhere’s that count. Elsewhere’s that give me a reward of some kind.
I had this writing momentum going between semesters of writing and writing but I lost that mojo. Semester grinds away at me. My holiday recently demonstrated this so clearly. I slept so much! I slept most nights 10 hours or more. Even my children didn’t need as much sleep as I did.
Semester grinds away and I start to hate my job. I actually like my job a lot. It is wonderful in many ways. I enjoy teaching. I enjoy the flexibility. I like most of the people I work with and have actually made friends there. But it eats at my will. My self discipline.
So I will write and hope it leads to real writing again.